Unfinished Business
This explains why people may re-enter relationships too soon. They aren’t finished grieving or detaching from the prior bond. The new partner becomes emotional substitution, not a connection. They’re stepping into a role that’s still coded neurologically as “rebound” even if neither person says it out loud.
Holding the Weight: When Connection Isn’t Mutual
This dynamic often develops gradually, shaped by early relational patterns and sustained by psychological investments in hope, potential, or emotional idealisation.
Performing Connection: When Vulnerability Becomes a Mask
There’s a key difference between being vulnerable and being emotionally available. Vulnerability means opening up in a way that invites connection. Availability is the ability to stay open and connected over time, not just during emotional moments.
When Emotional Chaos Feels Like Chemistry
Our brain thrives on familiarity. If our early relationships taught us that love is unpredictable, volatile, or conditional, we'll feel a strange sense of comfort in relationships that echo those dynamics.